I Come of Age
I Go to College
Death and the Televangelist
Finding My Way
At the time I was wrestling with theological difficulties, I was also struggling with personal ones. My marriage had pretty well unraveled due to a number of factors, and we divorced one month before our third anniversary. At the same time, I was having some problems at work, partly due to the external stresses affecting my performance and partly due to a bad manager.
It all added up to, time for a new start. So I began looking for a new job in a new place, and within a few months I found one, in Maryland, a thousand miles away. So I loaded up a U-Haul truck and set out for the new location.
I settled into the new job and, with a fresh start and away from the sources of turbulence, did it well. I left it for a better one, and then when that one collapsed in 2002 with a mass layoff, landed in yet another good place. Meanwhile, I had new friends, a new relationship and no particular religious inclinations. Life was pretty good and getting better.
But there were twinges. I sometimes missed the sense of spiritual community in a church. I sometimes missed the comfort of ritual and the sense of spiritual connection to a larger reality. I sometimes wished I could believe what I didn’t really believe anymore. So 10 years or so after the move, I again picked up books and began reading and contemplating – but in new ways. Thanks to a few people I had gotten to know in the years since I left the old home, I had had my horizons expanded. This time, the books I sought out had to do with neopaganism and Unitarian
Universalism – paths I had been virtually unaware of before but that might have appealed to me years before if I’d known.
Unitarian Universalism appealed to me immediately, intellectually at least, because as described in the first book I pick up – A Chosen Faith, by John Buehrens and Forrest Church – it sounded like a good place for spiritual inquirers, people like me who didn’t have all the answers but wanted a place to ask and consider the questions. That was the idea, though – I had no idea yet if the reality would live up to it.
On the pagan side, things took longer to cohere. Paganism is a big world, but Lynda, my partner and co-author here, was a good guide through a few titles that helped put things into focus. I began to feel drawn especially to Druidry due partly to its connection to nature and partly because to the extent that I can trace my ancestry, I’m pretty sure that at least some of my distant ancestors were Celts.
After a few months of thought and discussion with Lynda, I sent in the money to join ar nDraiocht Fein, the largest American Druid organization. I also visited a few UU churches nearby and liked them all in various ways. At last it seemed like I might be forging a spirituality born out of my own awareness and intuitions rather than on someone else’s authority.